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Mafia "Mafia look at little child. Mafia see loser."

"The Mafia are terrible at cooking! But fear not, Cooking Cat is here!"
—Cooking Cat

The Cooking Cat is a minor character that Hat Kid meets in Down with the Mafia! in Chapter 1. She claims that The Mafia's cooks are actually terrible at cooking, and that she replaces the food with her cooking so no-one gets sick.

She lives in the rafters of Mafia Headquarters, and is surrounded by a pile of fish and a few buckets of lobster.

Later on, she enters Hat Kid's Spaceship, telling them things about Relics. She stays there for the rest of the game in the kitchen.